For once it's not about hockey, it's not about family, it's not even about the kids! I've been doing alot of soul searching lately because I'm really not all that happy with my life. Last year basically sucked, and for the last few months I've just been stuck in denial and self pitty. It's hard to do the things you know you should do when you feel poisoned. That's how I've felt. In my soul search I woke up to the truth, and remembered that I am far stronger than any poison Satan could throw at me. Through Christ I can overcome ANYTHING. I'm trying to say that I apologize for the loathing, anger, rudeness, ire, intolerance, and hate that has been churning inside me. I want it to be done so I can be the man I'm supposed to be. God has given me special talents that I haven't used in a very long time, you as the Church likely feel numb because I'm a body part that has been paralyzed, well no more, if I can use those talents I will ! I need happiness, I need fellowship, and I need friendship or I'm going to die. One thing that God has been working over the last couple years is finally coming to fruition. I'm not going into the details though I could really use your prayers to beat it down. The things are pastors have been saying have been cutting me like a sword, and the things Char has been publishing on her blog are right on. Those kinds of things should be coming from my mouth instead of the firey tongue that you might be accustomed to. Again I am sorry. Already Satan is irate with me for looking at God again, please keep me in your prayers, and especially for opportunities at work. I need wisdom and patience (although the patience thing scares me!) Please pray for the wisdom! Don't give up on me I'm a work in progress, and I hear the end result is GREAT ! Thanks