a pick me up for a dull day

"it's only fair !"
having a stressful day ?
oooooh the irony !

it's so true !

cell phone problem ?

http://www.mojoflix.com/Video/Monster-And-His-Cell-Phone.html

whooooo hooooooooo !

Ales Hemsky agrees to six-year deal
Edmonton Oilers Press Release

Ales Hemsky led the Oilers in scoring in 2005-06 with a career-high 19 goals and 77 points.The Edmonton Oilers and right wing Ales Hemsky have come to an agreement on a six-year contract, avoiding an arbitration hearing scheduled for Friday, July 28th.Hemsky is the third player that the Oilers have come to agreement with on a contract prior to the NHL’s arbitration process. Centres Shawn Horcoff and Jarret Stoll signed with the Oilers earlier this month.

View Hemsky's bio and career statistics

“Ales is an extremely important member of our hockey club,” said Oilers Assistant General Manager Scott Howson. “He is one of the NHL’s emerging offensive players, and coming off of a breakout season that saw him lead the Oilers in scoring, we believe he will continue to get better. We are excited to have him under contract for the next six seasons.”One of the NHL’s young offensive stars, the 6’0”, 192-pound native of Pardubice, Czech Republic led the Oilers in scoring during his third season with 19-58-77 in 81 games. The 22-year-old forward established single-season career highs in most offensive categories as he led the Oilers in assists and was fifth in goals.With his 77-point season, Hemsky finished tied for 33rd place in the NHL scoring race and was 10th in the League with his 58 assists. The 77-point season was the most points scored in a season by an Oiler since Doug Weight fell 10 points shy of the century mark in 2000-01 with 25-65-90. Only five Oilers have scored more points in a single season than Hemsky’s 77 since the 1989-90 season.Over half of Hemsky’s points came on the powerplay as he tallied 7-35-42 with the man advantage, finishing 15th in NHL powerplay scoring and sixth in powerplay assists. He also had one shorthanded goal and was involved in 13 game-winning goals, scoring four game winners and assisting on nine others.Hemsky registered a team-leading 23 multiple point games, including twice scoring a career-high four points. He netted a goal and three assists at Nashville on October 29, 2005 and again versus Detroit on March 23, 2006.His offensive contributions continued during the Oilers’ Stanley Cup Playoff run, as he scored 6-11-17 in 24 games to finish fourth on the Edmonton scoring list and 11th in the NHL. Hemsky tied with Fernando Pisani for the team scoring lead in the Stanley Cup Final against the Carolina Hurricanes as he scored 2-4-6 in the seven game series. Four of his six playoff goals came on the powerplay and he was involved in five of the Oilers’ 15 game-winning goals.He was a member of the Czech Republic’s bronze medal winning team at the 2006 Winter Olympics in Torino, scoring 1-2-3 with 2 PIM in 8 games. It was his second medal on the world stage in the last two seasons, as he was also a member of the Czech Republic’s gold medal winning team at the 2005 IIHF championship in Vienna, Austria.The Oilers’ first choice, 13th overall, in the 2001 NHL Entry Draft, Hemsky has scored 37-104-141 with 92 PIM in 211 career games with Edmonton. He has added 6-11-17 with 14 PIM in 30 Stanley Cup playoff games.

Bizzare !

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.

This is so priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today!
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank

Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."

Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."

Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."

Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

Citibank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"

Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

Citibank: "Excuse me?"

Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."

Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"

Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)

Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)

After they get the fax:Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."

Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."

Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."

Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"

Citibank: "That might help."

Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"

Funny !

Take it to heart !


Unique !


Typical !


Why natural selection still thrives !

Old but still perfect !

Yessssss !

Jarret Stoll agrees to two-year deal
Edmonton Oilers Press Release

Jarret Stoll enjoyed a career year in 2005-06 with 22 goals and 68 points.The Edmonton Oilers and centre Jarret Stoll have come to an agreement on a two-year contract, avoiding an arbitration hearing scheduled for Monday, July 24th.Oilers’ Assistant General Manager Scott Howson says that the team is excited to have Stoll back in the lineup. “We are pleased to have Jarret under contract for the next two years. He has emerged into a solid two-way player at an early stage in his career and we believe he will continue his development into a top forward in the NHL.”

Click here to view Stoll's bio and career statistics

The 6’1”, 201-pound native forward is coming off a solid season with the Oilers that saw him finish third on the Oilers’ scoring list with a career-high 68 points. The 24-year-old native of Melville, Saskatchewan established single-season career-highs in goals, assists and points, netting 22 goals and 46 assists in 82 games.One of only three Oilers to appear in all 82 games during the regular season, Stoll finished third on the team in goals and assists, was second in PPG (11) and game-winning goals (4), fourth in plus/minus (+4) and first in shots on goal (243).One of the top face-off men in the NHL, Stoll helped the Oilers lead the NHL in face-off winning percentage at 53.4%. He led the Oilers and was fifth in the NHL with a 56.7 winning percentage as he won 765 of his 1,348 face-offs. In a 3-1 win versus the Vancouver Canucks on February 4, 2006, Stoll won 21 of 22 face-offs to establish an Edmonton record for the highest single-game face-off winning percentage at 95.5%.Stoll was used in all situations by Oilers’ head coach Craig MacTavish, playing a regular shift and seeing considerable time on both specialty teams. He tied with Ryan Smyth for third in powerplay scoring on the Oilers as he netted 11-20-31 with the man advantage and he also added a goal and an assist while penalty killing.Registering 16 multiple points games on the season, including a career-high four point (2-2-4) game at St. Louis on November 4, 2006, Stoll was involved in one-quarter of the Oilers 41 victories as he scored four game winners and assisted on six more.A second round draft choice of the Oilers in the 2002 NHL Entry Draft, Stoll will be entering his third full season with the Oilers in 2006-07. In his first 164 career games with the Oilers he has scored 32-58-90 with 116 PIM.

The List

RESTRICTED FREE AGENTS -

ANAHEIM- Ilja Bryzgalov, Trevor Gillies, Maxim Kondratiev, Zenon Konopka, Chris Kunitz, Shane O'Brien, Bruno St. Jacques, Vitaly Vishnevski.

ATLANTA- Kevin Doell, Niko Kapanen, Kari Lehtonen, Brian Sipotz, Karl Stewart.

BOSTON- Andrew Alberts, Patrice Bergeron, Brad Boyes, Milan Jurcina, Nathan Robinson, Martin Samuelsson, Jordan Sigalet, David Tanabe.

BUFFALO- Maxim Afinogenov, Daniel Briere, Tim Connolly, J.P. Dumont, Paul Gaustad, Jeff Jillson, Dmitri Kalinin, Ales Kotalik, Toni Lydman, Adam Mair, Ryan Miller, Jiri Novotny, Nathan Paetsch, Jason Pominville, Derek Roy, Michael Ryan, Henrik Tallinder, Chris Thorburn.

CALGARY- Carsen Germyn, Matthew Lombardi.

CAROLINA- Stephen Peat.

CHICAGO- Mark Bell, Brandon Bochenski, Kyle Calder, Matt Keith, Tuomo Ruutu, Jim Vandermeer, Pavel Vorobiev.

COLORADO- Vitaliy Kolesnik, Brett McLean, Kurt Sauer, Marek Svatos.

COLUMBUS- Jaroslav Balastik, Jason Chimera, Dan Fritsche, Aaron Johnson, Brandon Sugden, Nikolai Zherdev.

DALLAS- Trevor Daley, Dan Ellis.

DETROIT- Darryl Bootland, Johan Franzen, Jiri Hudler, Jason Williams.

EDMONTON- Ales Hemsky, Joffrey Lupul, Toby Petersen, Mathieu Roy, Jarret Stoll.

FLORIDA- Jay Bouwmeester, Nathan Horton, Ric Jackman, Alexei Semenov, Mike Van Ryn, Mikhail Yakubov.

LOS ANGELES- Sean Avery, Dustin Brown, Mike Cammalleri, Tim Gleason, Tim Jackman, Mike Weaver.

MINNESOTA- None

MONTREAL- Jonathan Ferland, Michael Ryder, Mark Streit.

NASHVILLE- Sheldon Brookbank, Greg Classen, Martin Erat, Adam Hall, Dan Hamhuis, Scott Hartnell, David Legwand, Libor Pivko, Denis Platonov, Brandon Segal, Jordin Tootoo.

NEW JERSEY- Brian Gionta, Scott Gomez, David Hale, Paul Martin, Thomas Pihlman, Ilkka Pikkarainen, Aaron Voros.

NEW YORK ISLANDERS- Arron Asham, Sean Bergenheim, Ryan Caldwell, Rick DiPietro, Denis Grebeshkov, Trent Hunter, Mike York.

NEW YORK RANGERS- Marcel Hossa, Dominic Moore, Colton Orr, Thomas Pock, Michal Rozsival, Fedor Tyutin.

OTTAWA- Martin Havlat, Chris Kelly, Tomas Malec, Chris Neil, Peter Schaefer. PHILADELPHIA- Simon Gagne, David Printz, Tony Voce.

PHOENIX- Pavel Brendl, Mike Comrie, Josh Gratton, Sheldon Keefe, David LeNeveu, Zbynek Michalek, Ladislav Nagy, Jeff Taffe.

PITTSBURGH- Colby Armstrong, Marc-Andre Fleury, Ryan Malone, Niklas Nordgren, Brooks Orpik, Jani Rita.

ST. LOUIS- Jason Bacashihua, Christian Backman, Eric Brewer, Jon DiSalvatore, Doug Lynch, Aaron MacKenzie, Jay McClement, Tomas Mojzis, Peter Sejna, Timofei Shishkanov, Jeff Woywitka.

SAN JOSE- Rob Davison, Christian Ehrhoff, Scott Parker, Dimitri Patzold, Patrick Rissmiller, Nolan Schaefer, Mark Smith.

TAMPA BAY- Evgeny Artyukhin, Timo Helbling, Cory Sarich.

TORONTO- Nik Antropov, Roman Kukumberg, Matt Stajan.

VANCOUVER- Juha Alen, Jozef Balej, Kevin Bieksa, Tyler Bouck, Alex Burrows, Josh Green, Ryan Kesler, Jason King, Lukas Krajicek, Mika Noronen, Taylor Pyatt, Prestin Ryan, Jesse Schultz.

WASHINGTON- Matt Bradley, Ben Clymer, Jakub Cutta, Matt Pettinger.

UN-RESTRICTED FREE AGENTS -

ANAHEIM- Aaron Gavey, Jani Hurme, Jorgen Jonsson, Jason Marshall, Timo Parssinen, , Nikolai Tsulygin.

ATLANTA- Serge Aubin, Peter Bondra, Mike Dunham, Pasi Nurminen, Ronald Petrovicky, Steve Shields, J.P. Vigier.

BOSTON- Mariusz Czerkawski, Tom Fitzgerald, Brad Isbister, Jarno Kultanen, Dimitri Kvartalnov, Dan Lacouture, Brian Leetch, Jason MacDonald, Ian Moran, Eric Nickulas, Peter Nordstrom, Jiri Slegr.

BUFFALO- David Cullen, Rory Fitzpatrick, Chris Taylor.

CALGARY- Brian Boucher, Cale Hulse, Mike Leclerc, Craig MacDonald, Bryan Marchment, Brantt Myhres.

CAROLINA- Mark Recchi.

CHICAGO- Eric Daze, Jason Morgan.

COLORADO- Bob Boughner, Jim Dowd, Petr Franek, Paul Healey.

COLUMBUS- Alexander Guskov, Jan Hrdina, Hannes Hyvonen, Martin Prusek, Jamie Pushor, Radoslav Suchy, Darcy Verot.

DALLAS- Garrett Burnett, David Oliver, Nathan Perrott, Jeremy Stevenson.

DETROIT- Dmitri Bykov, Cory Cross, Manny Legace, Eric Manlow, Jason Woolley, Steve Yzerman.

EDMONTON- Adam Bennett, Radek Dvorak, Kari Haakana, Todd Harvey, Ralph Intranuovo, Fredrik Lindquist, Mikko Luoma, Rem Murray, Dick Tarnstrom, Igor Ulanov, Sergei Yerkovich, Alexander Zhurik.

FLORIDA- Jamie Allison, Alexander Karpovtsev.

LOS ANGELES- Valeri Bure, Nathan Dempsey, Steve Kelly, Jan Nemecek, Luc Robitaille, Brad Smyth, Marty Wilford.

MINNESOTA- Marc Chouinard, Alexandre Daigle, Kirby Law, Andrei Nazarov, Maxim Sushinsky.

MONTREAL- Jan Bulis, Miloslav Guren, Todd Simpson, Niklas Sundstrom, Vadim Tarasov, Pete Vandermeer.

NASHVILLE- Jukka Hentunen, Greg Johnson, Danny Markov, Yanic Perreault.

NEW JERSEY- Tommy Albelin, Alex Brooks, Ken Klee, Viktor Kozlov, Darren Langdon, Krzysztof Oliwa, Erik Rasmussen.

NEW YORK ISLANDERS- Keith Aldridge, Travis Brigley, Martin Chabada, Kenny Jonsson, Dimitri Nabokov, Tomi Pettinen, Dusan Salficky, Wyatt Smith.

NEW YORK RANGERS- Christian Dube, Ales Pisa, Dale Purinton, Martin Rucinsky, Jason Strudwick, Ronnie Sundin, Petr Sykora.

OTTAWA- Dominik Hasek, Steve Martins, Joe Murphy, Brad Norton, Christer Olsson, Andy Schneider, Antti Tormanen, Vaclav Varada.

PHILADELPHIA-Eric Desjardins, Mark Murphy, Brian Savage, Jamie Storr, Chris Therien, Mattias Timander.

PHOENIX- Boyd Devereaux, Oleg Kvasha, Chris McAllister, Steve Passmore, Jamie Rivers, Ray Schultz, Dwayne Zinger.

PITTSBURGH- Stefan Bergqvist, Eric Boguniecki, Chris Kelleher, Aleksey Morozov, Alain Nasreddine, Lyle Odelein, Lasse Pirjeta, Martin Strbak, Ryan Vandenbussche.

ST. LOUIS- Reinhard Divis, Reed Low, Dean McAmmond, Steve Poapst, Andy Roach, Stephane Roy, Scott Young.

SAN JOSE- None

TAMPA BAY- Jim Campbell, Chris Dingman, Steve McLaren, Todd Rohloff, Shane Willis. TORONTO- Jason Allison, Ed Belfour, Aki Berg, Lonny Bohonos, Maxim Galanov, Mikael Hakanson, Alexander Khavanov, Luke Richardson, Clarke Wilm.

VANCOUVER- Sean Brown, Sven Butenschon, Anson Carter, Craig Darby, Johan Davidsson, Jason Doig, Wade Flaherty, Justin Kurtz, Trevor Linden, Richard Park, Leif Rohlin, Vadim Sharifijanov, Lubomir Vaic, Eric Weinrich.

WASHINGTON- Andrew Cassels, Doug Doull, Colin Forbes, Ivan Majesky, Andreas Salomonsson, Mark Wotton.

Raoul's Chopper

Is this not the sweetest ride you ever seen ? My Buddy Raoul built this chopper from scratch ! I can't wait to see what the next one looks like! If it looks like the motorcycle for you, give me a shout and I'll put you in touch with the artist !

Very Custom !

The Cross Shaped Skulls
Classic Look !
Make his day buy this ride !

Bye bye Pecs'

Man the Oiler's are jumpin' ship fast ! Count Mike Peca gone, as he signed with the Toronto Maple Leafs today. 7 Oiler's in total are gone. It's high time we sign some fresh blood, namely Lupul, Smid, and another decent free agent center ! It wouldn't be bad to see another stallion defenceman too !

No more hugs for this guy, just a swift kick in the "you know where !"

Enjoy "hog town" Mike, it is the hocky center of the universe ! By the way when was the last time they went to the Stanley Cup Final, let alone win the thing ?

Winds of Change - part 2

by R.J. July 16'06

Well it's been a few days since my last Oiler update, and much more has transpired, so without further adieu...

-Departures-

• Sergei Samsonov - Montreal Canadians
• Ty Conklin - Columbus Blue Jackets
• Dan Smith - Detroit Red Wings

We'll call these guys burn-outs cause they burned out of town !

-Arrivals-

• Jan Hejda - Czech League

• Danial Tjarnqvist - Minnesota Wild

-Re-Sign-

• Shawn Horcoff - 3 years/10.8 million

The Edmonton Oilers and centre Shawn Horcoff have agreed to a three-year contract.With the deal, the Oilers and the 6’1”, 204 pound forward from Castlegar, British Columbia have avoided arbitration.

View Horcoff's bio and career statistics

The Oilers’ third choice in the 1998 NHL Entry Draft, Horcoff is coming off his most productive NHL season in 2005-06. The 27-year-old forward almost doubled his previous single-season scoring totals as he established career highs in goals, assists and points with 22-51-73 in 79 games to finish as the Oilers’ second leading scorer.

Thus far the Oilers have spent $25, 833, 400 on salaries for the upcoming '06-'07 season. That said the cheque book must come out to welcome Hemsky, Lupul, and Stoll + others. A cap of 44 million was set by the N.H.L.

Laraque loves my kids !

Avery, Gabe, and myself went downtown to the Bounce radio station to say good-bye to Georges Laraque. Little did we know that the munchkins would make page 3 of the Edmonton Sun. The City T.V. camera also caught us, but we have no conformations that we were on live t.v. as of yet ! The "Big Guy" is very classy and willl be missed ! G actually started signing autographs at 8:00 a.m. and kept going til at least 6:00 p.m. (we stood patiently for nearly 2 hours). My uncle Neil got a signed photo and well-wishes for his recovery, and had I thought to ask Georges to see him in the hospital I'm sure he would have gone ! #27 had no problem possing for this photo, he only asked if the kids would be okay ! When he lifted them, the crowd ooohed and awwwed and that's when the cameras started buzzing. Very cool ! Georges is the classiest "fighter" I've ever had the pleasure of meeting ! Good Luck in Phoenix big guy !

Winds of Change

by R.J. on July 5 '06

The room will have a new flavour come September with all the off season happenings. The team that went to the Stanley Cup is no more !

• Laraque signed with Phoenix as U.F.A
• Spacek signed with Buffalo as U.F.A
• Pronger traded to Anaheim for Lupul, Smid, and picks

Likely gone are unrestricted free agents

• Samsonov 3.65 M
• Peca 4.25 M
• Dvorak 2 M

Three players opted for salary arbitration and will likely hit the jack-pot with raises. Hopefully we can still afford them !

• Hemsky 1.13 M
• Horcoff 0.85 M
• Stoll 0 .675 M

That said we still have to sign others including our new trades Lupul and Smid.

Thankfully we have retained the services of Roloson and Pisani whom signed for some nice coin...4 M and 2 M respectively ! And have added Reasoner back into the fold signing him for 0.95 M

I think the Oilers have commited to near 20 M in contracts thus far and the team salary cap is 44 M, so they should be in good shape to make a contending team again for '06-'07 ! Kevin Lowe has his work cut out for him but he's pretty savy, and he has the bonus cash for reaching the Cup Final, and the remainder of Prongers' cash to swing some deals. Good luck G.M. !

Oh well, the Vancouver Canucks have allready lost 8 players from last year some of them prominent members, so were okay so far !

Older news July 1

Edmonton Oilers Press Release

Dwayne RolosonThe Edmonton Oilers have agreed to terms with goaltender Dwayne Roloson on a three-year contract.Roloson (6’1”, 178 lbs.) was instrumental in the Oilers Stanley Cup playoff run following the March 7th trade from Minnesota that saw the Oilers send their first round choice in the 2006 NHL Entry Draft to the Wild.
View Roloson's bio and career statisticsThe 36-year-old native of Simcoe, Ontario provided the Oilers with stellar netminding during the final month of the regular season and was key to the team’s drive to the Stanley Cup Final.In the Stanley Cup playoffs, Roloson compiled a 12-5 record with a 2.33 GAA and one shutout before being sidelined with a knee injury suffered in Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Final versus the Carolina Hurricanes.Prior to the injury, Roloson was among the NHL playoff leaders in several categories and ended the post-season ranked second in wins (12), save percentage (.927) and shutouts (1) and was fifth in goals-against average (2.33). He also led all goaltenders with two assists and 14 penalty minutes. The 14 penalty minutes established a new Edmonton record for most PIM by a goaltender in one playoff season and ties him with Grant Fuhr for most career playoff PIM.Roloson appeared in 19 games with the Oilers and registered an 8-7-4 record with one shutout, while compiling a 2.42 goals-against average and a .905 save percentage. He started 19 consecutive games from March 9th to April 13th, falling one short of the team record for most consecutive complete games shared by Bill Ranford and Grant Fuhr.With the Wild, Roloson was 6-17-1 with a 3.00 GAA and .910 save percentage. Overall, he appeared in 43 games during the 2005-06 regular season and was 14-24-5 with a 2.73 GAA, a .908 save percentage and two shutouts.

*

Edmonton Oilers Press Release

Fernando PisaniThe Edmonton Oilers have agreed to terms with right winger Fernando Pisani on a four-year contract.Pisani (6’1”, 205 lbs.) enjoyed his finest season in the NHL in 2005-06, scoring a career-high 37 points in the regular season and exploding for an NHL-leading 14 goals during the Oilers’ Stanley Cup playoff drive.
View Pisani's bio and career statisticsThe 29-year-old native of Edmonton, Alberta scored 18 goals and 19 assists in 80 games during the regular season, establishing single season career-highs for goals, assists, points and games played. His 37 points ranked him eighth on the Oilers scoring list and he was sixth in goals.
Coming off a solid regular season, Pisani put together one of the more memorable performances in Oilers’ playoff history. In 24 post-season games, Pisani scored 14-4-18 to finish sixth in the Stanley Cup Playoff scoring race and third on the Oilers.Pisani’s 14 goals led the NHL and he also led the league with five game-winning goals. Two of his five game winners came in the Stanley Cup Final as he netted the deciding goal in the Oilers’ wins in Games 5 & 6 versus the Carolina Hurricanes.His five game winners tied the Oilers record for most game-winning goals in one playoff season, while his 14 goals were the sixth most scored by an Edmonton player in the post-season.Pisani has scored 42-38-80 with 98 penalty minutes in 191 career games since making his NHL debut with the Oilers in 2002-03. He has added 15-4-19 in 30 playoff games.Pisani was the Oilers’ ninth choice (8th round),

1st Rounder

Smid may be hidden gem of deal

Ladislav Smid was team captain of Czech Republic's entry in the 2006 World Junior Championships in Vancouver.by Marc Ciampa

www.edmontonoilers.comWhen the Oilers dealt Chris Pronger on Monday, the initial reports were that the Oilers had acquired Joffrey Lupul, a non-roster player and some draft picks.Plenty of attention was paid to Lupul, as it should have been. A local player from nearby Fort Saskatchewan, 28 goals in 2005-06 plus nine more in the playoffs and only 22 years old. But many may have overlooked the "non-roster player" aspect of the trade. Ladislav Smid, drafted ninth overall by Anaheim only two years ago at the 2004 NHL Entry Draft is projected to be a solid, two-way defenceman. As an added bonus, all indications are he's ready to step in right away."All our scouts are very, very high on him," said Oilers VP of Hockey Operations Kevin Prendergast. "In the long run he's going to be an outstanding defenceman."The Oilers have had an eye on Smid since his draft year and have continued to keep tabs on the blueline prospect."He played an awful lot in Portland last year," said Prendergast of the 20-year-old blueliner. "He's going to be able to contribute to this hockey team."Smid was back in the Czech Republic when he got word of the deal. Considering how high he was on the radar of Ducks GM Brian Burke, he was surprised to be dealt.“I was astonished. I didn’t expect anything like this,” said Smid. After his 2005-06 club - the Portland Pirates of the American Hockey League - were eliminated in Game 7 of the third round, he departed for home. Brian Burke told him before he left that if he came to camp in good shape he would have an opportunity to crack the lineup.“The general manager explained a lot of things to me, we talked about the upcoming season in quite serious detail,” Smid stated.But the next time Burke and Smid spoke, it was to inform the 6'3" 204 pound blueliner that he was off to Edmonton.“He informed me that the club had traded for Chris Pronger and it was an extraordinary situation. I was gasping for a little while, it came out of the blue. I had no notion that I could be in any shape or form involved in the Pronger trade.”Shortly after hearing from Burke, Smid spoke with his agent and then had an opportunity to talk to Kevin Lowe for the first time.“He welcomed me in the organization, we talked about the training camp. I should come a week before it opens, and he hinted I should come really ready.”The surreal nature of the situation still has not sunk in for Smid. “I haven’t played a minute in the NHL, and here I am, moving," he said. Oilers scout and Czech Republic native Frank Musil also had an opportunity to address Smid. “He told me Edmonton had been interested in me at the draft, but Anaheim beat them to me, but the Oilers kept watching me.”Edmonton won't be entirely new to Smid, either. He has already spent several summers in the city, his agent Ritch Winter is located there and fellow countryman Ales Hemsky plays on the team.“I practiced in Edmonton during summers twice," he stated. "My agent Ritch Winter’s office is in Edmonton. So, at least, he won’t be too far away, I can always drop by for a cup of coffee.”By the time September rolls around, a lot of eyes will be on the defenceman with the expectation that he will make a serious run at the fifth or sixth spot on the Edmonton blueline. And he will be ready for the challenge.“I’ve got to earn it. It’s the same all over the NHL. I expect the club to sign a few more new players, let’s see who they are going to be. I hope I’m going to play, but it’s too soon to tell.”- with files from Peter Adler.

He's Back !

Edmonton Oilers Press Release

Marty ReasonerThe Edmonton Oilers have agreed to terms with centre Marty Reasoner on a two-year contract.Reasoner returns to the Oilers from the Boston Bruins, where he played the final month of the 2005-06 season following a trade for Sergei Samsonov on March 9th.
View Reasoner's bio and career statisticsThe 6’1”, 200-pound centreman scored a career-high 11-23-34 with 28 PIM in 77 games with the Oilers and Boston last season. Reasoner registered 26 of his 34 points with the Oilers as he had nine goals and 17 assists with 20 PIM in 58 games for Edmonton. Five of his nine goals came on the powerplay and he added one game winning goal.Reasoner will return to the Oilers for his fifth season in 2006-07. Originally acquired from the St. Louis Blues on July 1, 2001, Reasoner has scored 28-48-76 in 197 games with Edmonton and has 99 PIM. He has 47-84-131 with 149 penalty minutes in 311 career NHL games since making his league debut with St. Louis in 1998-99.He reached two career milestones in 2005-06, scoring his 100th career NHL point with a powerplay goal versus the Phoenix Coyotes on October 18th and the seven-year veteran played in his 300th career NHL game on March 24th at New Jersey while with Boston.

Funny

A complaint about Mr. Ryan L. Jackson, Sr.

*
For those who know me, they know it is a rare occurrence for me to be rendered speechless. But when I heard that Mr. Ryan L. Jackson, Sr. wants to meddle in everyone else's affairs, I must say that speechless I was. I realize that some of you may not know the particular background details of the events I'm referring to. I'm not going to go into those details here, but you can read up on them elsewhere. His desire to reconstitute society on the basis of arrested development and envious malevolence is the chief sign that he's a superstitious meathead. (The second sign is that Ryan feels obliged to discredit and intimidate the opposition.)

I've known some porn stars who were impressively prurient. However, Ryan is wanton, and that trumps prurient every time. He recently stated that he has the authority to issue licenses for practicing frotteurism. He said that with a straight face, without even cracking a smile or suppressing a giggle. He said it as if he meant it. That's scary, because his statements such as "Children should belong to the state" indicate that we're not all looking at the same set of facts. Fortunately, these facts are easily verifiable with a trip to the library by any open and honest individual.

The question that's on everyone's mind these days is, "Why do Ryan's cohorts want to ingratiate themselves with Ryan?" On the surface, it would seem to have something to do with the way that Ryan expects people to bow and scrape before him. But upon further investigation, one will find that he accuses me of being narrow-minded. Does he insist I'm narrow-minded because I refuse to accept his claim that he holds a universal license that allows him to convert houses of worship into houses of lexiphanicism? If so, then I guess I'm as narrow-minded as I could possibly be. His comment that you and I are morally inferior to ghastly half-wits is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. Not only did all of us misfortunate enough to have to listen to him make that comment become dumber as a result but I assert that a lot more people now understand why I think that Ryan says that mediocrity and normalcy are ideal virtues. That's his unvarying story, and it's a lie: an extremely ribald and mendacious lie. Unfortunately, it's a lie that is accepted unquestioningly, uncritically, by Ryan's spin doctors. Okay, this letter has become much too long so I'll just jump right to the punchline: If the country were overrun by rapacious extortionists, we could expect to observe widespread discrimination in our daily lives -- stares from sales clerks, taxis that don't stop, and unwarranted license and registration checks by police.

*

A Complaint About Mrs.Charlaine T. Jackson

*

I feel obligated to say something about Mrs. Charlaine T. Jackson, because, as the Talmud says, "Silence is akin to assent." Before I say anything else, let me remind Charlaine that I stand by what I've written before, that there is still hope for our society, real hope -- not the false sense of hope that comes from the mouths of infantile good-for-nothings, but the hope that makes you eager to condemn her hypocrisy. This moral issue will eventually be rendered academic by the fact that she expresses insufficient concern about the ozone layer, the Bhopal tragedy, and lesbian theater. Let me recap that for you, because it really is extraordinarily important: She is not a responsible citizen. Responsible citizens kick butt and take names. Responsible citizens sincerely do not concoct a version of reality that fully contradicts real life. If I didn't sincerely believe that Charlaine is willing -- even eager -- to jettison her scruples in order to stay ahead of the pack, then I wouldn't be writing this letter. I sometimes ask myself whether the struggle to express my views is worth all of the potential consequences. And I consistently answer by saying that we need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with her. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that she holds onto power like the eunuch mandarins of the Forbidden City -- sterile obstacles to progress who stand in the way of progress. If you ask Charlaine if it's true that her complaints have very little thought behind them and are neither interesting nor amusing, you'll just get a lot of foot-shuffling and downcast eyes in response. Yes, I realize that she maintains a cozy relationship with naive slimeballs, but for the sake of brevity I've had to express myself in simplified terms. Since she claims to know more than the rest of us, I'm sure she's aware that I assert that she is hell-bent on suppressing our freedom. My views, of course, are not the issue here. The issue is that the objection may still be raised that we should all bear the brunt of her actions. At first glance, this sounds almost believable. Yet the following must be borne in mind: If anything, the central paradox of her slurs, the twist that makes her strictures so irresistible to sexist pamphleteers, is that these people truly believe that if she kicks us in the teeth, we'll then lick her toes and beg for another kick.

Strictly speaking, for the nonce, Charlaine is content to advocate her litanies amid a hue and cry as blinkered as it is detestable. But in the coming days, she will lay down diktats that force me to swallow her sophistries whole, without question or quibble. As a general rule, if she doesn't realize that it's generally considered bad style to encourage every sort of indiscipline and degeneracy in the name of freedom, then she should read one of the many self-help books on the subject. I recommend she buy one with big print and lots of pictures. Maybe then, Charlaine will grasp the concept that she says that an open party with unlimited access to alcohol can't possibly outgrow the host's ability to manage the crowd. That's a stupid thing to say. It's like saying that we can all live together happily without laws, like the members of some 1960s-style dope-smoking commune. Even though her press releases are not restrained by any moral scruples, this does not negate the fact that the law of parsimony suggests that her myrmidons are cut from the same mold as supercilious power brokers. Let me rephrase that: She proclaims at every opportunity that she'd never destroy everything beautiful and good. The lady doth protest too much, methinks. Anyone who follows today's debates on revanchism and, by happenstance, is also familiar with Charlaine's yellow-bellied policies, is struck by that old truism: That fact is simply inescapable to any thinking man or woman. "Thinking" is the key word in the previous sentence.

While we all despair over Charlaine's unholy biases, we must also remember the principles that will guide our better behaviors and higher aspirations. Is Charlaine a pious person? Yes, although her "piety" unerringly leads her to whichever dogma is best for business. Speaking of which, Charlaine is not interested in what is true and what is false or in what is good and what is evil. In fact, those distinctions have no meaning to her whatsoever. The only thing that has any meaning to Charlaine is absenteeism. Why? While I don't know the answer to that particular question, I do know that Charlaine's assistants have been staggering around like punch-drunk fighters hit too many times -- stunned, confused, betrayed, and trying desperately to rationalize Charlaine's cuckoo tirades. It is not a pretty sight. Many the things I've talked about in this letter are obvious. We all know they're true. But still it's necessary for us to say them, because I find it most unfortunate that this letter had to be written.

Laraque defuses my ire over Pronger !

Click the link !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z94-qEPtiLM

Pronger Dealt !

Oilers deal "D" Pronger to Ducks

July 3, 2006

EDMONTON, Alberta (Ticker) - Chris Pronger got his wish.
After asking the Edmonton Oilers to trade him, the team honored his request on Monday, dealing the star defenseman to the Anaheim Ducks for right wing Joffrey Lupul, defenseman Ladislav Smid, a 2007 first-round draft pick, a conditional first-round selection and a second-round choice in the 2008 draft.
After nine stellar seasons in St. Louis, including winning the Hart and Norris Trophies in 2000, Pronger, 31, was traded to Edmonton last August 2. He had 12 goals and 44 assists in 80 contests with the Oilers this past season.

The 6-6, 220-pound Pronger also had five goals and 16 assists in 24 playoff games for the Oilers, who lost the Stanley Cup Finals to the Carolina Hurricanes in seven games. His 21 points were the most scored by a defenseman in the playoffs since 1994, when Brian Leetch had 34 for the New York Rangers.
But shortly after the postseason ended, Pronger - a four-time All-Star and three-time Olympian for Canada - expressed his desire to leave Edmonton, and the Oilers found a willing taker in the Ducks, who already have a star defenseman of their own in Scott Niedermayer.
"We believe having Chris Pronger join Scott Niedermayer on our blue line gives us two of the top defensemen in the NHL today," Ducks executive vice president and general manager Brian Burke said. "Players of this caliber don't become available very often, especially when they are still in the prime of their career."
Lupul, 22, had 28 goals and 25 assists this past season, his second in the league.
"We also wish to thank Joffrey Lupul and Ladislav Smid for what they have done for this organization during their time with us, and wish them the best in the future," Burke .

*

Joffrey Lupul

The 22-year-old Edmontonian (Lupul) made history earlier this year as he scored four goals in Game 3 of the Western Conference Semifinals against Colorado, becoming the first player in NHL history to score four goals in a playoff game, including the overtime winner.Smid, originally drafted by the Ducks in the first round (9th overall) of the 2004 NHL Entry Draft, played his first season in North America with the AHL’s Portland Pirates after playing three seasons with HC Liberec in the Czech Elite League. The 20-year-old native of Frydlant, Czech Republic notched career-highs in points (28), goals (3) and assists (25) in 71 games with the Pirates in 2005-06.

silly joke

A South Carolina farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady.
He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.
The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.