Monday, April 30, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
Old photo
I found this old photo in my files and thought... "eh why not post it, it's cute." So this is the kids and I, pre Seth, at W.E.M. back on Boxing Day 2004. Aint we sweet ?Top 6 Smartass Answers
SMARTASS ANSWER #6
SMARTASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.
SMARTASS ANSWER #5
SMARTASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
SMARTASS ANSWER #4
SMARTASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
SMARTASS ANSWER #3
SMARTASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMARTASS ANSWER #2
SMARTASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
SMARTASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR
SMARTASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Family photo update !
Mother and son !
Snuggle time !
Quiet time for the younglings !
Brothers in arms !
Sweet big sister !
Parting shot !Wednesday, April 25, 2007
little funny !
For those of you with small monitors*
She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit.
Then I caught her spending $65 on makeup.
And I asked how come I have to give up stuff and she didn't.
She said she needed the makeup to look pretty for me.
I told her that was what the beer was for.
I don't think she's coming back.
She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit.
Then I caught her spending $65 on makeup.
And I asked how come I have to give up stuff and she didn't.
She said she needed the makeup to look pretty for me.
I told her that was what the beer was for.
I don't think she's coming back.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Babys Home !
Say hello to the Jackson 6 !
Char prior to the birth of little Seth !
Seth arrives at 12:20 a.m.
Proud papa
Two princes ! 
A nurse for mommy !
A little momma !
A blessed family !*
We went to Prince George on Thursday morning because Chars blood pressure did not go down and her head-aches were worrying the Mackenzie doctors. They said go now or we will put you in an ambulance, so we did. We made it to P.G. in record time arriving at 1:00 p.m. and after the non stress tests they induced Char at 5:05 p.m. I caught 3 hours of sleep starting at 7:00p.m. because I didn't get much coming off my last grave yard shift. At 10:00 p.m. Char was showing contractions of medium proportions, and by 12:00 a.m. the gig was up. Char just made it over to the room across the hall and plopped on the bed on her side and did not move the rest of the delivery. 12:05 a.m. she was 5 cm, and the resident doctor "Karen", called for Dr. Odolio.
Dr. Odolio made it 4/4 as for doctors who did not catch our babies ! and honestly it wasn't her fault because Char is a pro. At 12:20 a.m. we welcomed baby boy Seth Elijah into the world at 6 pounds 14 ounces. 20.5 cm and 10 little fingers and 10 little toes. Our nurses and hospital staff were A1, and we thank them and love them for a great delivery !
Monday, April 16, 2007
Poker Night !
Saturday nights game was at my house... and yours truely won game 1 against Scotty Fish, and I came in second in game 2 to Keith ! A good time was had as usual, next weeks game is at Scottys ! 
Joshua, Ryan & Scott
Barry, Jarret, Keith & Brian *
A safe and funny link !
double click to start
Today is "the Day !"
Happy 6th Birthday Gabe !
You're the best son I could imagine !
You're the best son I could imagine ! Have a great year !
Friday, April 06, 2007
Take a moment to read....it's guaranteed stress relief !
-Can you cry under water?
-How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
-Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only "A penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
-Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for all eternity?
-Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
-What disease did cured ham actually have?
-How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
-Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
-If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
-Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
-Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
-Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
-Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
-Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
-If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
-Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
-If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
-Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
-If Wiley I. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
-If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
-If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
-Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
-Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
-Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
-Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
-Do you ever wonder why you read this in the first place?
-How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
-Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only "A penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
-Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for all eternity?
-Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
-What disease did cured ham actually have?
-How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
-Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
-If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
-Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
-Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
-Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
-Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
-Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
-If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
-Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
-If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
-Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
-If Wiley I. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
-If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
-If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
-Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
-Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
-Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
-Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
-Do you ever wonder why you read this in the first place?
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Wow !
by Ryan Jackson Oiler's hockey analyst
-I've done the math... and the Oiler's have lost 21 of their last 24 for an 87.5% losing percentage. That's just 1/5 of the season.
-October through January the Oiler's suffered 26 loses out of 51... roughly 50 %.
-In all... their record is 80 games played 31 wins 42 loses in regulation and 7 loses in over time.
So really it's a tale of two seasons, the first half and the second half !
Why then have the wheels fallen off you might be wondering? In my opinion it's a snow ball effect that started early in October. With 26 seconds left in a Detroit game, Moreau was about to get in a fight with Markov but hit his hand on the Detroit defence man's helmet and had to leave the ice for treatment. The result later on showed that he had actually dislocated his shoulder. Ethan is our best defensive forward and most steady penalty killer, and losing him took away a big piece of the heart of this team. He's never played a game for the rest of the year.
If that wasn't bad enough we then lost Jarret Stoll to a concussion in the first period of a Vancouver game on Feb. 1st. Stoll was sharing the team lead for points at the time and was the glue that kept his line mates scoring. Though inconsistency plagued the young center, it was an injury that really smarted.
A trade for Peter Nedved was made in the hopes that he would be one more dangerous weapon in the Oiler's assault arsenal, but it never happened. Peter played for the money not the love of the game, and stole some of the Oiler's salary cap space. In March he walked away from the team while injured, and no one batted an eye lash.
Kevin Lowe was looked upon to make a trade for a puck moving defense man to fill the void of Chris Pronger, and bailed on the plan early in February. The team was not winning enough in his mind, and doubts of missing the playoffs filled his head. Instead of trading for the coveted D-Man, he traded our highest scoring "D" in M.A. Bergeron. The swap was for a prospect that never even cracked the line-up once, and was a sign of worse to come ( for this season )
February 27 th, on the day that Mark Messier's number 11 was to be hoisted to the rafters to join the other honored players such as Gretzky, Kurri, Coffey, and Fuhr, K-Lowe pulled the trigger on the hockey world sending Ryan Smyth to the New York Islanders for two more prospects, and a couple draft picks. Smyth was leading the team in goals, points, and most offensive categories when traded and the void he left was not filled. Team chemistry suffered, moral was crushed like a Zedano Chara body check, and the Oiler's quit on the coaches and management. Ironically Smyth and Bergeron instantly found chemistry on the Island averaging almost a point a game while playing there.
When a player gives up bad things happen, and boy did it happen ! In March the Oiler's had 11 or 12 players out of the line-up almost every day of the month. Call-ups to the farm team didn't even help, because as soon as one would arrive he would just as quickly get injured. Big names like Hemsky, Horcoff, Staios joined Moreau and Stoll on the I.R. list and the loses piled up.
I'm left wondering what if ? What if the Oiler's would have made that trade for a puck moving defence man back in January. What if we payed the money for an honest super star, and didn't have to trade M.A. Bergeron because our power-play wasn't near last in the league anymore ? What if we didn't grab Nedved and instead got a player that was a good bang for our buck ? ( my buddy Keith saw that coming )What if that player complimented Ryan Smyths play. What if doing all that, put us closer to the playoff hunt instead of the dive for 5 ? What if ? I guess we'll never know !
Personally I blame Craig Simpson and the power play coaches for their inability to succeed. I blame Craig MacTavish for over working Dwayne Roloson ( more on that too) And mostly I blame Kevin Lowe for sitting on his @$$ when he should have been making good deals to help the team early in January. A stud puck moving defense man, a dependable back-up goaltender to spell off Roloson more. Dwayne had never played more games at any time in his NHL career, and couldn't maintain the load. Lastly, one final forward on dead-line day to put us over the top like last year. Don't blame the players, blame the staff ! The ones that claim they know best !
Sure does suck to go from 7 th game of the Stanley Cup Finals one year, to not making the first round the next season, but hey it might be okay, at least Carolina is there with us now !
-I've done the math... and the Oiler's have lost 21 of their last 24 for an 87.5% losing percentage. That's just 1/5 of the season.
-October through January the Oiler's suffered 26 loses out of 51... roughly 50 %.
-In all... their record is 80 games played 31 wins 42 loses in regulation and 7 loses in over time.
So really it's a tale of two seasons, the first half and the second half !
Why then have the wheels fallen off you might be wondering? In my opinion it's a snow ball effect that started early in October. With 26 seconds left in a Detroit game, Moreau was about to get in a fight with Markov but hit his hand on the Detroit defence man's helmet and had to leave the ice for treatment. The result later on showed that he had actually dislocated his shoulder. Ethan is our best defensive forward and most steady penalty killer, and losing him took away a big piece of the heart of this team. He's never played a game for the rest of the year.
If that wasn't bad enough we then lost Jarret Stoll to a concussion in the first period of a Vancouver game on Feb. 1st. Stoll was sharing the team lead for points at the time and was the glue that kept his line mates scoring. Though inconsistency plagued the young center, it was an injury that really smarted.
A trade for Peter Nedved was made in the hopes that he would be one more dangerous weapon in the Oiler's assault arsenal, but it never happened. Peter played for the money not the love of the game, and stole some of the Oiler's salary cap space. In March he walked away from the team while injured, and no one batted an eye lash.
Kevin Lowe was looked upon to make a trade for a puck moving defense man to fill the void of Chris Pronger, and bailed on the plan early in February. The team was not winning enough in his mind, and doubts of missing the playoffs filled his head. Instead of trading for the coveted D-Man, he traded our highest scoring "D" in M.A. Bergeron. The swap was for a prospect that never even cracked the line-up once, and was a sign of worse to come ( for this season )
February 27 th, on the day that Mark Messier's number 11 was to be hoisted to the rafters to join the other honored players such as Gretzky, Kurri, Coffey, and Fuhr, K-Lowe pulled the trigger on the hockey world sending Ryan Smyth to the New York Islanders for two more prospects, and a couple draft picks. Smyth was leading the team in goals, points, and most offensive categories when traded and the void he left was not filled. Team chemistry suffered, moral was crushed like a Zedano Chara body check, and the Oiler's quit on the coaches and management. Ironically Smyth and Bergeron instantly found chemistry on the Island averaging almost a point a game while playing there.
When a player gives up bad things happen, and boy did it happen ! In March the Oiler's had 11 or 12 players out of the line-up almost every day of the month. Call-ups to the farm team didn't even help, because as soon as one would arrive he would just as quickly get injured. Big names like Hemsky, Horcoff, Staios joined Moreau and Stoll on the I.R. list and the loses piled up.
I'm left wondering what if ? What if the Oiler's would have made that trade for a puck moving defence man back in January. What if we payed the money for an honest super star, and didn't have to trade M.A. Bergeron because our power-play wasn't near last in the league anymore ? What if we didn't grab Nedved and instead got a player that was a good bang for our buck ? ( my buddy Keith saw that coming )What if that player complimented Ryan Smyths play. What if doing all that, put us closer to the playoff hunt instead of the dive for 5 ? What if ? I guess we'll never know !
Personally I blame Craig Simpson and the power play coaches for their inability to succeed. I blame Craig MacTavish for over working Dwayne Roloson ( more on that too) And mostly I blame Kevin Lowe for sitting on his @$$ when he should have been making good deals to help the team early in January. A stud puck moving defense man, a dependable back-up goaltender to spell off Roloson more. Dwayne had never played more games at any time in his NHL career, and couldn't maintain the load. Lastly, one final forward on dead-line day to put us over the top like last year. Don't blame the players, blame the staff ! The ones that claim they know best !
Sure does suck to go from 7 th game of the Stanley Cup Finals one year, to not making the first round the next season, but hey it might be okay, at least Carolina is there with us now !
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Yeahhhhhh !
*By virtue of their 3-0 lose to the Minnesota Wild... the Oiler's now have a shot at the # 1 pick in the entry draft ! Edmonton can move up 4 spots by being the first lotto ball picked from the drum, or can move down one spot to 6th. There is the possibility of being any where in between too. The worse the finish... the better the pick, so lose Oiler's lose !
*Updated April 7th
The current percentage chance of being selected in the Draft Drawing is as follows, based on team finish:
1st pick 30th........... 25.0 per cent
2nd pick 29th........... 18.8 per cent
3rd pick 28th........... 14.2 per cent
4th pick 27th........... 10.7 per cent
5th pick 26th.............8.1 per cent
6th pick 25th.............6.2 per cent as of Apr.7th
7th pick 24th.............4.7 per cent
8th pick 23rd.............3.6 per cent
9th pick 22nd............ 2.7 per cent
10th pick 21st.............2.1 per cent
etc... 20th.............1.5 per cent
19th.............1.1 per cent
18th.............0.8 per cent
17th.............0.5 per cent
1st pick 30th........... 25.0 per cent
2nd pick 29th........... 18.8 per cent
3rd pick 28th........... 14.2 per cent
4th pick 27th........... 10.7 per cent
5th pick 26th.............8.1 per cent
6th pick 25th.............6.2 per cent as of Apr.7th
7th pick 24th.............4.7 per cent
8th pick 23rd.............3.6 per cent
9th pick 22nd............ 2.7 per cent
10th pick 21st.............2.1 per cent
etc... 20th.............1.5 per cent
19th.............1.1 per cent
18th.............0.8 per cent
17th.............0.5 per cent
*
Season Done for Oiler's, 1 day left for other teams games !
