Hee Hee

Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. Take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up, and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, Storm up the steps, pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the bum and say, WHO'S HORNY????!!!" And ....she acts like she's sound asleep! It Works Every Time!

Game Day

Fri., January 12, 7:00 PM MST
TV: Sportsnet
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Team-GP-W-Points
Calgary 42-23-50
Vancouver 44-24-49
Minnesota 44-22-47
Edmonton 43-21-46
Colorado 43-21-45

Tonites game against the Minnesota Wild could be a playoff spot, it's a 4 point game and the Oil need the win. Minny is terrible on the road and the Oilers are decent at home, do the math, it's a must win.

Oilers 3 Sharks 2

They met !

They Crashed !

They Scored,

...and they won !
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The Oil have gone out and stoll 5 points out of 6 on the road !
Stoll, Hemsky, and Bergeron each had a pair of points.
With the win Edmonton grabs 8th place in the West !
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Vancouver 43-24-18-1-49
Calgary 41-22-15-4-48
Edmonton 43-21-18-4-46
Colorado 42-21-18-3-45
Minnesota 43-21-19-3-45

Game Night !

It's time to go fishing for 2 points, and SanJose is the right place ! The standings in the N.W. division are tight so say a prayer for the Oil !

Wed., January 10, 8:30 PM MST

TV: Oilers PPV

Oilers Win !

2-1 in Over-Time !

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In a four game week you have lots to accomplish, and the Oilers took care of pressing need #1, beat L.A. 2 Points earned... 6 more on the table ! Jan Hejda scored the winner and Jarret Stoll had the other. Next up is a game in San Jose on Wednesday ! Great start guys ! Keep it up !

Here's me during my depression !

I haven't been in good spirits when it comes to my Oilers lately. What a contrast since last May when it was party night every 2nd day. I'm hoping that their recent skid is over, and that the new year is "Go time !" Even though I dished out the turd pie to my "Canuck fan friends" last April when Van. failed to make the play-offs... I have to admit I can't take it from them anymore !

"Time to Kick some @$$ !"
Mon., January 8, 8:30 PM MST

TV: Sportsnet
Oilers @ Kings
Time for production !

Sykora * Nedved * Hemsky

Game Day !

Ryan Smyth celebrates a goal in the game against the Florida Panthers the other night. The Oil won 4-1 . They meet their arch villains tonite in Big E ! Peter Nedved is back in the line-up starting with Petr Sykora and Ales Hemsky...they're being dubbed "The Czech Mafia" line.

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Thu. January 4, 7:00 PM MST

TV: Sportsnet
Go Oilers Go !

Answered Prayers !

My buddy Keith and I were just talking two days ago about what would become of Peter Nedved. At that time it was rumored that the Ottawa Senator's would pick him up off waivers from the Philadelphia Flyer's. In jest, I said "wouldn't be great if Edmonton got him, and made a Czech line with him, Sykora and Hemsky?" Keith said Nedved's best days were gone, and that he was done. The Oiler's brass doesn't think so and neither do I ! With the current downward spiral the Oil need help, and I hope this is just the beginning. Horcoff, Smyth, and Pisani make up the second line, while Stoll, Torres, and Lupul a scoring third line. Reasoner, Petersen and (insert rookie here) make up the checking line. I dearly hope Lowe is hunting for a puck moving defence man, that would make a huge improvement in our playoff hunt. The Oil sent Patrick Thoresen to the farm to make room for Nedved

As you may allready know...

I Hate the Calgary Flames !
I didn't even cheer for them in any of their cup runs !

Sun., December 31, 6:00pm MST

TV: Sportsnet

The Oil are smarting from the lickin' the Canucks' put on them last night, so expect a hard fought battle royal. Edmonton needs the 2 points like Mike Ricci needs a new hair style !

Time for a Huge "W" !

'nucks @ Oil'

Sat., December 30, 8:00 PM MST

TV: CBC
NORTHWEST DIVISION

TEAM

GP

W

L

OT

PTS

Calgary - 36 18 14 4 40
Minnesota 38 19 17 2 40
Vancouver 38 19 18 1 39
Edmonton 36 18 16 2 38
Colorado -37 18 17 2 38

Good Security !

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

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2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.

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3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

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4. Leave a note on your door that reads: "Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls, they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside !

Game Day !

The series is tied at 2, the big game is today !

With all five teams in the separated by only two points, nearly every game between Northwest Division teams is with first place at stake.
The Edmonton Oilers look to extend their slim lead atop the division Tuesday when they face the Colorado Avalanche for the second time in five days.

Go Oilers Go !

Game Day !

Fri., December 15, 7:00pm MST TV: Sportsnet The Oilers have a 2-1 lead in the season series out of 8 games. Both the wins came in Denver. The boys in blue are 1st in the N.W. and the 'lanche are last, let's pray for a Christmas present in Denver.

Oilers own sole lead in N.W. division !

EDMONTON, Alberta (AP) -- Jarret Stoll and Shawn Horcoff scored 14 seconds apart late in the third period as the Edmonton Oilers beat the Minnesota Wild 3-1 Thursday night.
With 4:38 remaining, Stoll picked up Marc-Andre Bergeron's blocked shot in the slot and outfought Keith Carney for the puck. He put a drive into the upper right-hand corner behind goalie Manny Fernandez to give the Oilers a 2-1 lead.
Edmonton stretched its lead 14 seconds later as Horcoff stole the puck in the Minnesota zone and beat Fernandez with a backhander to make it 3-1.
The Wild took a 1-0 advantage by connecting on their first shot of the game. Todd White showed pass but put a shot past Dwayne Roloson just under four minutes in.
The Oilers had a great chance to tie with eight minutes gone in the second and a 5-on-3 advantage for 1:40, but Fernandez and the Minnesota penalty killers kept Edmonton from coming close.
Edmonton got even 3½ minutes into the third period as defenseman Matt Greene scored his first NHL goal. Greene put a deke on Fernandez and scored on a backhand.
Game notesThis was the third of eight meetings between the teams this season. Minnesota was 6-2 against Edmonton last season, winning all four on the road. ... Wild C Wes Walz returned to the lineup for the first time after missing 10 games with a hip injury.

Game Day !

Olier's Vrs. Pred's !

Tue., December 12, 6:00 PM MST TV: Oilers PPV

Dear Santa !!

Santa says..."I would like some new legs!"

"I would like a Tamagochi"

"I would like 12 dancing princesses"

"I would like a remote control boat !"

Thank You Oiler's !

Oilers win 2- 0 !
Roli earns 2nd straight shut-out (22 saves)

They didn't get allot of shots (15) but they blocked 26 as a team !

Great effort as this is a rare win in Texas ! (4th all time)

Oilers Vrs. Stars !

Let's pray for some Oiler magic in Dallas ! Edmonton winning a thriller would be a great early Christmas present ! Besides, the N.H.L. owes us big time for that fiasco the last time they met, and Magoo stole the game from us in the dying seconds !

Oilers take Rematch !

Sean Horcoff from last springs play-off drive !
Jussi Markkanen vrs. Adam tonite !
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What a game, Jussi made 27 saves and beat the Carolina Hurricanes.
Jarret Stoll scared us all after leaving the game from blocking 2 shots, but came back and had an impact with an assist ! Raffe Torres played some good hockey too winning a face-off (as a winger) and adding an assist ! Pisani, Winchester, and Smith had the goals. Great job boys !

WOOOOO HOOOOO ! Awsome !

#11 to be retired

Feb. 27th 2007

vrs. Wayne Gretzky's Phoenix Coyotes !